Rock Star: Music & Lyrics Book 1 Read online

  He felt the panic rise in him and he quickened his steps. How was he going to perform when he knew the crowd would be, if not hostile, then at least unresponsive? This was going to be a nightmare. He would look like a fool and he would be laughed off the stage. He had been exposed as the fraud he always believed himself to be.

  He began to pant, his breathing labored as a full-blown panic attack set in. He couldn’t do this. Gina had been the one to hand him his career on a silver platter and now he was expected to stand on his own two feet and drag himself out of the shit heap that he’d flung himself into. He couldn’t do it. He didn’t even know where to start.

  A large hand clamped down on his shoulder and he looked up into the concerned eyes of Derek.

  “You okay son?” the big man asked, his voice a deep rumble.

  Nate didn’t need to answer. He knew Derek could read the panic in his eyes.

  “Come on,” he said, slapping him again to get him moving.

  Wade opened the door of his trailer and Derek practically pushed him up the stairs and through the door. Nate collapsed on one of the bench seats and dropped his head between his knees, dragging in big lungfuls of air. Someone handed him a bottle of water, the cap already removed, and he drank greedily. When the dizziness had subsided and he felt he could breathe again, he looked up. Derek and Wade were both staring at him with pity in their eyes. Fabulous. Just what he needed from the head of his new record label and his agent…pity.

  Mabel burst through the trailer door and the attention mercifully moved from Nate. She looked ready to burst and a smile split her mouth which was not something they saw every day on Mabel’s face.

  “‘No Good for Me’ just hit number eight in the charts!”

  Nate jumped to his feet. “What?”

  The song had debuted only a couple of days ago to coincide with the first show of Lily Ames ‘Long Hot Summer’ tour. It was credited as a Court’n Jacks song featuring Nate Nash and they would be playing it on the tour with Lily. Nate had already seen a recording from the first show where Stevie and Jace had killed it as a duet. They didn’t need him, it would seem.

  “How is that even possible? We don’t even have a video.”

  “I had the guys at the studio splice some of the footage together from your recording sessions.”

  Nate remembered only too well the last recording session they’d had and he hoped to hell that they had remembered to turn off the video equipment at the end of the song. He and Stevie had fucked each other senseless after everyone else left. Hopefully that hadn’t been caught on camera.

  “Yeah, but CMT is screaming for a real clip. Marci has already been blowing up my phone hoping we can schedule something next week when you’re in the same city as the tour.” Mabel looked at him expectantly.

  He blew out a breath and slumped back on his seat. He didn’t want to see Stevie, not yet anyway. He still hadn’t spoken to her since the night he left her high and dry at the gig. They’d left to start their tour the next day and Nate had been too chicken shit to do any damage control.

  “Just get some shots from the tour,” Nate said, running his hand through his hair and closing his eyes.

  “No way, man,” Derek said shaking his big, bald head. “This song is the shit and we need to respect it with a clip that everyone will go nuts over. We want to YouTube the shit out of it.”

  “Maybe you should check with Court’n Jacks before you go making plans. I don’t think they’ll be too cool with having me back on the scene.”

  “I’ve already spoken to Marci,” Mabel said, getting in his face. “They’re fine with it, it’s you that’s being the pussy here. Grow up, put your big boy panties on and get a clue. This is your chance and I am not going to let you fuck it up.”

  Mabel was a short little thing with curves for days. She had dimples when she smiled and looked like a fucking kewpie doll. By looking at her it was easy to assume that she was sweet and shy. Except the one thing Mabel wasn’t was sweet. She was a bulldog with a mouth that would make even a sailor blush. She didn’t take Nate’s crap and didn’t blink before telling him where to shove his whining and complaints. She was nothing like Gina, who did nothing but blow smoke up his ass for five long years. Mabel was what he needed in his life to get him the hell out of his depression and back on with the job of rebuilding his career.

  “Do you think sharks go about whining and complaining because their girlfriends were mean to them? No, they don’t. They get up and they go around biting shit and reminding everyone that they’re a goddam fucking shark. It’s time to be a shark Nate.”

  “Fine,” he replied, pushing to his feet and pacing the small space that felt even smaller now with the four of them in it. “Fine. Set it up. Just don’t expect me and Stevie to get on. I know she’s pissed at me and that woman can hold a grudge for long god-dammed time.”

  “You haven’t told her yet?” Derek asked.

  “No,” he said with a huff, “I assumed you would.”

  “You’re an asshole Nate Nash,” Mabel said, throwing her hands in the air.

  Derek just shook his head and Wade stared at Nate like he had grown a second head.

  “She doesn’t know why you didn’t show that night?” Wade asked.

  “No,” he snapped. “I’m going to lie down and try and get some rest before my set.”

  He stormed down the short hallway and slammed the door behind him before collapsing on the bed. He wasn’t ready to face Stevie yet, not until he got his shit together and his shit was definitely not yet together. He was even more nervous now about the set tonight. He could hurt their song if he bombed and then it would be another reason for Stevie to hate his guts. Just what he needed; to hand her more ammunition to annihilate him with.

  He rolled onto his back and tried to do some deep breathing exercises. He could hear the deep rumble of Derek’s voice and the higher pitched one of Mabel, but he couldn’t make out what they were saying. He knew they thought he was a pussy bitch and that was fine because the truth was, he was indeed a fucking pussy bitch who was terrified of fucking up his last chance at making something of himself. He knew he would have absolutely no chance with Stevie unless he could prove to her that he was a different guy than the one who left her stranded five years ago. His greatest fear was that he wouldn’t be able to do it. It had been that fear that had led him to making all the absolutely horrendous decisions in his career, which had led him here to the cesspool he now found himself in. He was crippled with fear that everyone in his life had been right about him and that he was destined for ordinary. Fear that he would never be enough. He had been given a second chance to prove himself and he was grateful, but it also added a new fear to the others that circulated his brain. What if he was never good enough? What if he was never worthy of having Stevie in his life?

  Get Songbird now!

  Click HERE to buy Songbird from your favourite ebook retailer.

  Want to know when the next Music & Lyrics book is available?

  Sign up for the Music & Lyrics New Release Newsletter by clicking HERE

  Other books by Emma Lea

  This is Emma Lea’s complete book library at time of publication, but more books are coming out all the time. Find out every time Emma releases something by clicking here and signing up for her New Release Alerts.

  SWEET ROMANCES

  These are romantic tales without the bedroom scenes and the swearing, but that doesn’t mean they’re boring!

  The Young Royals

  A Royal Engagement

  A Royal Entanglement

  A Royal Entrapment

  A Royal Expectation

  Bookish Book Club Novellas

  Meeting Prince Charming

  Broken Arrow Trilogy

  Broken

  Cursed

  Eternal

  SWEET & SEXY ROMANCES

  In my Sweet & Sexy Romances I turn up the heat with a little bit of sexy. No swearing, or very minimal swearing, and brie
f, tasteful and not too graphic bedroom scenes.

  Love, Money & Shoes Series

  Walk of Shame

  Strictly Business

  Skin Deep

  In The Money

  All At Sea

  Love, Money & Shoes Novellas

  The Five Year Plan

  Summer Fling

  Standalone Novels

  Amnesia

  HOT & SEXY ROMANCES

  Hot & Spicy Romances turn the heat way up. They contain swearing and sexy scenes and the characters get hot under the collar.

  Recommended for 18+ readers

  TGIF Series

  Girl Friday

  Black Friday

  Good Friday

  Twelve Days

  Twelve Days of Christmas - Her Side of the Story

  Twelve Days of Christmas - His Side of the Story

  Quickies (Collins Bay Novellas)

  Last Call

  Standalone Novels

  Learning to Breathe

  TOO HOT TO HANDLE ROMANCES

  These are definitely 18+ reads and contain graphic sex scenes and high level swearing – not for the faint of heart

  The Young Billionaires

  The Billionaire Stepbrother

  The Billionaire Daddy

  The Billionaire Muse

  The Billionaire Replacement (coming soon)

  Music & Lyrics

  Rock Star

  Songbird

  Strings