Songbird: Music & Lyrics Book 2 Read online

  Not so much now.

  The familiar restlessness was in his veins but he knew there was only one woman who could satisfy him and she was barely talking to him. He didn’t want nameless, faceless groupies pawing at him and bouncing on his cock just so they could say they’d joined the Nate Nash Fuck Club. He wanted Stevie. He wanted her so much it hurt.

  He ran the soap over his body as the needles of hot water bit into him. Had he seen the same longing in her eyes tonight? She was still pissed at him, he knew that. She had every right to be, but was there something else there tonight. Had she looked at him with anger or had she looked at him the same way he’d looked at her? He’d been greedy to lap up every little bit of her with his eyes. His cock thickened as he thought of her and he stroked himself, needing the release or he was going to go crazy.

  She had been with him every night, if only in his head. He’d run until he couldn’t run anymore to rid himself of the need that filled him after each performance. He could have found a woman to take the edge off, he’d had plenty of offers, but that’s not what he wanted. Everything had changed since he’d made love to Stevie and he couldn’t imagine sleeping with anyone else now.

  He squeezed his cock and grunted as his orgasm hit. He hadn’t come since the last time he’d been inside Stevie, but seeing her tonight had pushed him beyond need. He would have gone fucking crazy if he didn’t take the edge off. He didn’t know if she was still seeing Carson, he didn’t know where they stood, but he wanted her. He wanted her so bad that it hurt.

  Someone banged on his trailer and he shut the water off. He would get through this meet-and-greet and then he would run. It was the only way he was going to sleep tonight.

  Chapter Four

  Home. He hadn’t been back to Apple Tree Creek in five years. He watched the scenery fly past the window as they approached the small town where he and Stevie had grown up. He saw the big sign that advertised Nash & Sons Apple Farm, ‘Home of the Apple Orchard Festival’ and the venue for Nate’s next gig. The original farm itself was on the other side of town, but the farm had extended and now had fields on this side of town too. Nate’s great, great grandfather had planted the first trees when he and his wife had settled there. The farm had been passed down through the generations and his uncle ran it now with his grandfather still throwing in his two cents worth. The town had grown up around the farm so you could sort of say that the Nashes founded Apple Tree Creek.

  As they approached the town proper he saw the first few signs and groaned inwardly. It was an election year and already the mayoral candidacy signs dotted the side of the road and the front lawns of the first few houses they came across.

  “Geez,” Mabel muttered under her breath.

  Nate rolled his eyes and fought off the feeling of impending doom. He hadn’t told his family he was coming and he would pay for that. Not that he needed to warn them, he had no doubt that they knew, but his mother would be very put out that he hadn’t had the common courtesy to give her a heads up.

  Mabel swiveled around in her seat so she could eyeball him. Wade kept driving, but Nate knew that he was just as curious. They passed the general store - Nash’s General Store - and then there was the hardware - Nash’s Hardware - and of course the garage - Nash’s Garage.

  “Spill,” Mabel said. “Does your family own the whole fucking town? Is this some weird place, like in a Stephen King novel?”

  Nate sighed and leaned his head back against the seat, closing his eyes.

  “Is your dad the mayor?”

  “No,” Nate said and he could hear the intake of breath as Mabel began to speak again but he didn’t give her the chance. “My mother is the mayor. My father is the fire chief, my eldest brother is the sheriff, my next oldest brother is the county judge and my third brother is a surgeon and works at the county hospital.”

  “No shit,” Mabel breathed. “What about the apple farm and the general store—”

  “My uncle runs the orchard now and the other businesses in town are either uncles or cousins.”

  “So this is like Nash universe. Your family owns the whole freaking town.”

  “No,” Nate said, still not opening his eyes. “They own a lot of it, but they don’t own it all and before you ask, no, I’m not related to everybody in town.”

  “But you are related to more than half of it would be my guess.”

  Nate didn’t respond. Mabel knew his bio, the whole fucking world knew his bio. They knew he grew up in a small town, they knew he was discovered playing in a dive bar. What they didn’t know was that Stevie Jacks had also been playing with him in that bar and that she was solely responsible for him ever having dipped a toe in music in the first place. Without her he probably would have ended up as the high school football coach - not that being a high school football coach was a bad thing, it just wasn’t who he was. His parents would have been thrilled, though. In their eyes, being a high school football coach would have been the pinnacle of what they thought he could achieve. That was after he had unequivocally refused to go into politics as they had planned for him. They didn’t exactly approve of his current career, or the reputation he had garnered along the way. Music was a fine hobby but it wasn’t something to make a career out of.

  The van slowed and Nate opened his eyes. There was a long line of cars entering the old orchard gates. The Apple Orchard Festival was popular and had a solid reputation. Lots of burgeoning artists played here, he and Stevie included. Their first performance had been a high school talent show, but their first real gig as a duo was here at the festival. That was something else that was lacking from his bio. It seemed Gina had cleansed his background thoroughly and no one had outed him. He didn’t know if that was a good thing or a bad thing. Had the town been protecting Stevie from being associated with him? Probably. There was no reason for them to protect him and he knew that of the two of them, Stevie was the town favorite. They all knew he had let her down to grab the offer Gina had thrown at him. In the town’s eyes Nate was the bad guy… in his own eyes too.

  Nate ground his molars together. He hadn’t seen the festival on the schedule until it was too late to change it. It was fitting really, if a little masochistic, that they would be shooting the video for ‘No Good for Me’ here with Court’n Jacks and that it would be the first time he’d seen Stevie since he’d seen her come out of the restaurant with Carson. The first time in the flesh, he amended. He’d been watching the YouTube videos that were popping up of Court’n Jacks in concert. He had even taken a screen shot of one of them and set it as his phone background. He was a sap and he was missing her but he wasn’t yet ready to face her and that made him a coward. The same coward that had taken Gina’s offer because he didn’t have the belief in himself or her that they could make it on their own.

  Wade navigated the festival setup and brought the van to a stop beside his trailer. It had been sent ahead with several other trailers on the back of a truck while they followed in the van. Nate didn’t wait for the others. He escaped the van and headed into the trailer and the bedroom at the back. He closed the door and collapsed on the bed. He wanted to sleep, not because he was tired but because he just wanted this whole nightmare to be over.

  10 years ago

  “Nathaniel! Put that guitar down and get ready. You are going to be late.”

  Nate stopped strumming his guitar, his leg bouncing. He was nervous and he didn’t think he would get through the entire school day without throwing up at least once. He put his guitar in its case and then headed into the kitchen where his mother was finishing her coffee as she read some document or other.

  “So the talent show is this afternoon,” he said as he slid into the chair opposite her. “Do you think you’ll be able to make it?”

  “I’ll try, honey,” she said not looking up from the paper she held in her hand, “but I’ve got a busy day and your brothers have a football game tonight.”

  His family never missed his brothers’ football games. Nate had
been a little shunned when he had dropped out of the football team earlier in the year. He’d wanted to spend the time learning guitar from Stevie. His parents hadn’t approved but they hadn’t stopped him either.

  “The show should be over in plenty of time before the game,” he said. He hadn’t realized until then how important it was for his parents to be at the show. He had finally found something that he loved and that he was good at and he wanted to show them too. He wanted them to be proud of him just like they were proud of his brothers. Music might not be as important to them as football, but if he could show them how good he was then maybe they would look at him with that shine in their eye like he saw when they looked at his brothers.

  His mother looked up at him then. “Okay sweetheart. I’ll do my best to get there.”

  He smiled with relief and then stood, the nervous energy buzzing under his skin. He grabbed his backpack and guitar case and strode out the door to his car. He had seven hours of school to get through before the show and at the rate he was going he would be a mess by that time. He needed to find a way to bleed off all the nervous energy before it sent him insane.

  He roared out of the driveway and down the road pulling up a few minutes later outside Stevie’s house. She bounded out of the front door and down the steps a big grin splitting her face.

  “Are you ready for today?” she asked as she stowed her gear and then slid into the passenger seat.

  He gave her a confident smile and winked. “I can’t wait,” he said as he got them back on the road.

  Stevie babbled at him the whole way but he could hardly take in what she was saying, he was far too nervous. He parked the car and took a deep breath before turning to her. She’d stopped talking and was looking at him curiously. He saw the confidence and the excitement in her eyes and instead of asking for the reassurance he needed, he simply smiled.

  “Let’s do this,” he said and climbed out of the car before he could lose his fake confidence.

  “Nate!”

  He was enveloped in a warm body and heavy perfume as his current girlfriend wrapped herself around him. Oh. Hello. The nerves seemed to fade as his blood rushed south.

  “Candace,” he drawled, his voice deep.

  They kissed and the cramps in his gut made way for his rising arousal.

  He heard a car door slam and raised his head to see Stevie scowling at him. He didn’t understand why she hated Candace so much, or any of the girls he dated. It wasn’t like she was interested in him. She’d made that perfectly clear when she’d started tutoring him in guitar.

  “Oh, hello Stevie,” Candace purred.

  “Candace,” Stevie replied with barely restrained growl. She switched her gaze to him, her eyes narrow. “I’ll catch you later Nate,” she said before storming off.

  “I don’t know why you spend so much time with her,” Candace said with a pout. “She’s such a bitch.”

  “Hey,” he said with a frown, “Stevie is my friend. I don’t want you saying things like that about her.”

  Candace rolled her eyes. “Whatever,” she said and then kissed him again.

  He didn’t give Stevie another thought as he slipped his tongue into Candace’s mouth and she ground against him. No sign of nerves now as his cock thickened and his brain turned to mush.

  “Well hello there,” Candace said as she rubbed herself against him. “Do you need me to take care of that little problem for you?”

  “Hey,” he said with a lazy grin. “Watch what you’re calling little.”

  The bell rang and they both groaned.

  “Find me later,” she whispered in his ear before biting his earlobe.

  He groaned again as he let her go and watched her walk away, her hips swinging a little more than they needed to.

  He took a minute to adjust himself and then followed her into the building and to his first class.

  The day dragged and by the time the final bell rang his nerves were back in full force. He hadn’t managed to hook up with Candace at lunch like he’d hoped - she had cheerleading practice - and he’d bitten his fingernails just about to the quick.

  Stevie bumped his shoulder. “Hey, what’s up? You look like you’re about to puke.”

  He gave her a grim smile. “I just might,” he replied.

  She chuckled beside him. “Suck it up, tough guy,” she said. “We don’t have time for that.”

  They grabbed their gear from the back of his car and he followed her into the auditorium. The seats were already mostly full which made him want to throw up just a little bit more. He swallowed down the bile as Stevie checked them in. He couldn’t help but glance at the audience looking for his mom. He knew it was a long shot that she would be here, but he couldn’t help hoping that just this once she might make an effort to support him in something he liked. Something had changed in him since picking up a guitar for the first time. He’d found an activity that he could connect to and something that he was good at. His family didn’t think much of it and he was desperate to show them that he did have a calling.

  Stevie ushered him backstage and his guts cramped as the reality of what he was about to do set in.

  “Hey,” Stevie said, popping him in the stomach. “You’re looking a little green around the gills there sailor.”

  “I don’t know if I can do this,” he said, looking for the nearest exit.

  “Don’t be ridiculous,” she admonished him, standing her ground and giving him a steely-eyed look. “We have been practicing for ages and we’re good. I know we are.”

  “But there are so many people out there, what if I make a mistake? They’ll laugh us off the stage.”

  Stevie snorted. “Stop it. You’re freaking yourself out. No one is going to be laughing at us. Look,” she pointed to a group of kids in yellow t-shirts with socks on their hands. “Do you seriously think that we are worse than the sock puppet band?”

  She had a point. They didn’t even sing or play instruments. They were a lip-sync group who performed to a song and only pretended to sing. Surely he and Stevie were better than that.

  “Okay,” he said breathing out a long breath.

  Stevie slapped him on the back. “Now get out your guitar and let’s warm up.”

  Present Day

  His mother hadn’t come to that long ago show, nor had she come to any of his others. Not when he was still singing with Stevie and not after he became famous. He stopped sending his family tickets after the fourth or fifth time that they were unused. His parents and his brothers always had some excuse why they couldn’t make it, but Nate had given up caring. He knew his family saw him as a disappointment and a failure, despite his success and his Grammy nominations. As far as they were concerned, his music wasn’t something to be proud of and in their opinion he would have been much better off becoming a high school football coach.

  He rolled over in the bed and looked out the dark window. Stevie had been the only one who had seen potential in him. She had been the one who had pushed him to get better at his playing and his singing. She had pushed him when he had wanted to give up and had practically dragged him through their first couple of gigs. It was her passion for the music that had made him fall in love with it. Which made him an even bigger ass for walking away from her.

  There was a soft knock on the door and he lifted his head to see what the time was.

  “Nate? Are you awake?” It was Mabel. “We’ve got some food if you’re hungry.”

  “Thanks,” he called out, his voice a little scratchy after his nap.

  He laid back down and stretched. He was tired and he really didn’t have a right to be. His tours had been a lot rougher than the last couple of weeks had been, but then he hadn’t been emotionally invested in them either and he hadn’t had to work so hard to win the crowd over. Performing had never been so taxing before but neither had it been so rewarding. For the first time in his career he was proud of what he was doing. For the first time, he actually owned it.

  He r
olled off the bed and walked out to the communal area where Wade and Mabel had set up a range of take away food. The first thing he smelled was the apple pie. Above everything else that was on the table, the smell of Peachy’s famous apple pie hit his nose and he groaned.

  “You went to Peachy’s Diner?” he asked slumping into a chair.

  “How’d you know we went there?” Wade asked looking up from his burger.

  “The apple pie,” Nate said as he pulled it closer. “I would know that smell anywhere.”

  “It’s just apple pie,” Mabel said.

  “Wash your mouth out,” Nate replied, taking offense. “Peachy’s apple pie is like a religious experience. Once you taste it you will never eat another apple pie as long as you live.”

  “Whatever,” Mabel said with a nonchalant flick of her plastic fork. “Apples are apples.”

  Nate grunted and tore the bag open inhaling the sweet scent of apples, sugar, cinnamon, and a touch of lemon. No one knew the secret to Peachy’s apple pie except Peachy herself and her granddaughter who would inherit Peachy’s Diner one day. He dug his fork into the still warm pastry and lifted it to his lips when there was a knock on his trailer door.

  “Do you have a Peachy’s apple pie in there?” Stevie yelled through the door before shoving it open and barging in.

  Nate curled his arms protectively around the slice of pie.

  “It’s mine and you’re not getting any.”

  “Just a mouthful,” she pleaded, holding up a fork that she swiped from the table.

  Their reunion could’ve been a hell of a lot more awkward than this. Fighting over pie almost made it feel like old times when they would go to Peachy’s after school. He would buy pie for himself and she would say she didn’t want any and then somehow she would end up eating half of his. Why he never clued in to her tactics earlier and just bought two damn pies, he’ll never know. Perhaps because he liked sharing with her.